Mother May I?
by chillian
Summary: Mommy said no but bad boys don't listen.


DISCLAIMER: I don't own them despite my wishful thinking.  
  
FEEDBACK: Please let me know what you think, especially if it's something bad. Don't just tell me that's it's bad though let me know why you think that it's bad!!!!!  
  
SUMMARY: First in my "Never Did" series. Lucas didn't listen to Mommy and now everyone was sad. AH mostly from Lucas's POV.  
  
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Mommy had told him no but she didn't have to know. Really he couldn't help himself, even if he had wanted to listen. It was calling to him.  
  
He had tried to sleep, ignoring the flashes of blue cotton blankets and pink skin that flashed before his closed eyes. And he kept remembering Mommy's mouth frowning at him. He had tried.  
  
It was so easy to creep down the hallway on his tiny feet, footy pajamas cushioning eager footsteps. Nobody heard him slip into the silent room through the cracked door and tiptoe over the scattered toys. Before he knew it he was peeking over the top of the wicker bassinet and gazing down at the sleeping infant.  
  
The scent of wet wipes and baby powder filled his nose while he watched the pint-sized chest expand and contract. He caressed the soft blanket, his fingers itching to stroke the newborn flesh.  
  
Mommy had said no. She had looked at him and said that babies were too fragile and he was too young. Her green eyes had been reproachful when they rested on him and filled with tenderness when they turned towards The Baby. Mommy hadn't even noticed when he turned and walked away.  
  
It was The Baby's fault. Stupid little Baby, in its stupid little baby clothes, with its stupid little baby noises. The Baby's fault that Mommy didn't love him anymore.  
  
Lex said Mommy was right, that he was too young and clumsy to hold a baby. When Mommy had put the bundle of cotton into Lex's arms he'd stuck out his tongue and smirked. Lex had never liked him anyway.  
  
The Baby gurgled as he poked the pudgy little legs. He put one hand under its head and one below it's diapered behind, just like Mommy and Lex did, and pulled the child from the bassinet. Not so hard, really, and Julian didn't feel very fragile, whatever that meant.  
  
He couldn't understand why everyone was so caught up in The Baby anyway. It didn't do much more than eat, sleep, and dirty its diaper. If that was all it took to impress everyone all they had to do was ask and he would have obliged.  
  
Lex was wrong about him being clumsy; he could hold The Baby and even walk around the room at the same time. When Lex had done that The Baby started crying. Maybe it liked him because it was still sleeping peacefully in his arms. Ha ha Lex.  
  
This was getting boring. He walked back to the bassinet and tried to put The Baby back softly like Mommy did but it was to high up. He couldn't go get Mommy because she would be mad and Lex would just tell on him. A little toss of the lax bundle would do it.  
  
He gave The Baby a push over the edge of the bassinet but he'd miscalculated and with a screech The Baby hit the floor. He ran to the other side and picked it up, bouncing it a little; like Mommy did when it made such awful sounds. It wouldn't stop screaming though and he began to cry.  
  
If he didn't do something soon Mommy would come in and he'd be in trouble. He put The Baby back on the ground and found a pillow. Maybe if he put a pillow over its mouth it would stop. He grabbed one out of the bassinet and covered the infant mouth with it. The screams beneath the pillow became fainter and finally died away all together. He picked The Baby up and threw it back where he had found it.  
  
Dashing from the nursery, he jumped into bed and waited for Mommy to come in and ask what had happened. His breathing was heavy and tears slicked his face but nobody came.  
  
Mommy had been right when she said no. He was too clumsy to hold The Baby. Maybe tomorrow she would teach him the right way if he asked nicely.  
  
*  
  
Lucas awoke the next day to Mommy screaming in the nursery and Lex shaking him.  
  
"Lucas, get your coat on." There were tears in his eyes and his bald head was covered with a soft hat. His gloves were in one hand and his coat draped over his shoulders as if he didn't have time to properly dress.  
  
Lucas climbed sleepily from his bed and slowly followed Lex's directions. When he couldn't put his coat on quickly enough Lex shoved his arm painfully into the sleeves and he started crying.  
  
"Hurry up Lucas, we don't have much time. Mom is already on her way to the hospital with Julian." His voice cracked and a tear slipped over his face and onto Lucas's forehead. Lex turned away from the younger Luthor for a moment and wiped at his face.  
  
"Is Mommy hurt Lex?" Worry was etched into the five-year old forehead and sorrow glistened in his clear green eyes.  
  
Lex tousled the raven hair on his brother's head and pulled a cap over his ears. A sad smile crept across his face and something that might be tenderness entered his voice. "No, not hurt but-" He couldn't bring himself to continue and so he just pulled Lucas down the stairs.  
  
*  
  
Lucas didn't like the hospital, with its ugly, tan walls and uncomfortable chairs it reminded him of dinner with Gramma and Grandpa Luthor. The hallways were too quiet and everybody seemed tired but they wouldn't tell him why. When he had turned to ask Lex what was going on Lex had told him to be quiet and stop fidgeting. Everybody was sad but wouldn't tell him why, and where was Mommy?  
  
Lucas slipped down the hall and around the corner to wait for Dad to come in, he always explained things instead of treating Lucas like a baby. Dad would explain what had happened, he wouldn't say Lucas was being fidgety when he wasn't.  
  
"Lucas what are you doing? Are you trying to make things harder than they already are?" Lex was walking towards him with brows furrowed.  
  
"I'm waiting for Dad, he'll tell me what happened. I'm not a little kid, you know. Where's Mommy?" There was a note of whining in his voice, belying the words he'd just spoken.  
  
"That's debatable but since you think you're so grown up I'll tell you." Lex took Lucas's hand and led him to a chair. "Sit down."  
  
"I don't want to sit down, just tell me."  
  
A heavy sigh escaped Lex's mouth and he ran a hand over his smooth head. "Fine, suit yourself. Lucas, Mom is talking to the doctor's and making arrangements for Julian. I-"  
  
"What special treatment is The Baby getting now?" Lucas crossed his arms over his chest and frowned. It figured that this was all about The Baby.  
  
"Lucas, Julian isn't getting any special treatment. He's dead." With the last word Lex whimpered a little. "Mom went in to feed him this morning and he was blue and not breathing. A pillow was lying on the ground next to the bassinet. The chauffeur thinks somebody did it as a message to Dad."  
  
Lucas closed his eyes and tried not to think, this was his fault. Julian hadn't just stopped crying. "It was his own fault." The words were out of his mouth before he knew what he was saying.  
  
Lex's head jerked up and his eyes changed from a glistening blue to ice. "What is that supposed to mean Lucas? What. Did. You. Do." His teeth were clenched and a muscle flickered in his jaw as he waited for Lucas to answer.  
  
"It doesn't mean anything at all, I didn't do anything."  
  
Lex grabbed the back of Lucas's coat and shook him, "What did you do Lucas?"  
  
"I told you I didn't do anything. Stop shaking me." Tears were in his eyes and began streaming down his face. "It was his fault, he wouldn't stop crying. I just wanted to make him stop crying."  
  
The hand abruptly let go of his coat and he stopped shaking. Lex was staring at him with his mouth hanging open and his eyes wide.  
  
"I didn't know Lex. I didn't want Mommy to be mad at me; I didn't want to get in trouble. I just-"  
  
A fist hurtled toward his face and Lucas fell to the floor to dodge it. Lex went whirling into the wall with the force of his attempted blow. "This is happening because of you?" He pushed himself away from the wall and tried again, this time his fist connected. He pounced on Lucas and hit him in the nose.  
  
"Stop it Lex, stop it." Lucas planted his hands on Lex's chest and shoved. Lex went toppling backward and down the hallway. "Leave me alone." He turned and ran for the elevators.   
  
*  
  
The elevator doors took too long to open and so Lucas ran for the stairs. Lex just didn't understand and he would turn Mommy against him. Lex just wanted to get him into trouble, like Jullian.   
  
Lost in his thoughts, Lucas was surprised when he realized he was outside of the hospital, on a street that was really just a dark alley. A man was crumpled against the old brick wall in a bundle of rags. He didn't seem concious and a bottle of something he'd seen his father drink before lay next to him. Scared and alone Lucas approached the man and sat next to him, trying to ignore the stench emmanating from his clothes. When the man woke up he'd ask him for help, for now he'd just rest.  
  
The street wasn't as comfortable as back home, but he needed to forget all about that because he wasn't going back there again. Lex had made sure of that. 


End file.
